modern greek gods
- zeus: spoiled rich kid that gets away with everything
- poseidon: surfer dude
- hades: just a simple banker trying to live his simple life
- hera: suburban wine mom
- apollo: stoner that plays wonderwall in a college campus quad
- artemis: hardcore feminist and queer activist
- dionysus: philosopher by day, hardcore partier by night
- hestia: your grandma
- aphrodite: tyra banks
- ares: overly aggressive gamergate dudebro
- hephaestus: under appreciated i.t. employee who fixes everything, probably actually the xkit guy
- hermes: that one asshole who's always on his bluetooth
- athena: hermione
- demeter: little old lady who runs an organic produce stand at your local farmer's market but could 11/10 kick your ass
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