modern greek gods

  • zeus: spoiled rich kid that gets away with everything
  • poseidon: surfer dude
  • hades: just a simple banker trying to live his simple life
  • hera: suburban wine mom
  • apollo: stoner that plays wonderwall in a college campus quad
  • artemis: hardcore feminist and queer activist
  • dionysus: philosopher by day, hardcore partier by night
  • hestia: your grandma
  • aphrodite: tyra banks
  • ares: overly aggressive gamergate dudebro
  • hephaestus: under appreciated i.t. employee who fixes everything, probably actually the xkit guy
  • hermes: that one asshole who's always on his bluetooth
  • athena: hermione
  • demeter: little old lady who runs an organic produce stand at your local farmer's market but could 11/10 kick your ass